The power of saying NO!
“It is only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” ~Steve Jobs
I grew up in a very conservative Indian society where if we said no to others we were considered as negative, unhelpful, and selfish. This was especially the case with close relationships, in which case we found it hardest to say no. As children we were often told not to cause a fuss or bother anyone, and to expect very little. As a result we believed that others were worthier than us, that their needs and wishes should take precedence over ours. We felt guilty for saying what we wanted or how we felt, as if we had no right to do so.
After family, the place where we spend most of our childhood time is our school. School was another place where we were never allowed to say no. We were never allowed to say no to subjects that we didn’t want to study. We were never allowed to say no to a particular teacher whose classes we didn’t like. We were never allowed to say no to the books which we didn’t want to read, and the list goes on.
All these experiences made it very difficult for us to voice our opinions and needs, as it got ingrained in our minds that what we thought, felt or wanted was not important. This made us fearful of confrontation and we started avoiding it at all costs. Saying no to someone was considered as provoking that person and making…
